ACCEPTS Skill
The ACCEPTS skill is intended to distract us from the crisis at hand without making matters worse. We can also find it helpful to practice this skill when not in crisis and to build a life worth living.
Activities
Focus attention on a task you need to get done. Rent movies; watch TV. Clean a room in your house. Find an event to go to. Play computer games. Go walking. Exercise. Surf the Internet. Write e-mails. Play sports. Go out for a meal or eat a favorite food. Call or go out with a friend. Listen to your iPod; download music. Build something. Spend time with your children. Play cards. Read magazines, books, comics. Do crossword puzzles or Sudoku.
Contributing
Find volunteer work to do. Help a friend or family member. Surprise someone with something nice (a card, a favor, a hug). Give away things you don’t need. Call or send an instant message encouraging someone or just saying hi. Make something nice for someone else. Do something thoughtful.
Comparisons
Compare how you are feeling now to a time when you felt different. Think about people coping the same as you or less well than you. Compare yourself to those less fortunate. Watch reality shows about others’ troubles; read about disasters, others’ suffering.
Emotions
Read emotional books or stories, old letters. Watch emotional TV shows; go to emotional movies. Listen to emotional music. (Be sure the event creates different emotions.) Ideas: Scary movies, joke books, comedies, funny records, religious music, soothing music or music that fires you up, going to a store and reading funny greeting cards.
Pushing Away
Push the situation away by leaving it for a while. Leave the situation mentally. Build an imaginary wall between yourself and the situation. Block thoughts and images from your mind. Notice ruminating: Yell “No!” Refuse to think about the painful situations. Put the pain on a shelf. Box it up and put it away for a while. Deny the problem for the moment.
Thoughts
Count to 10; count colors in a painting or poster or out the window; count anything. Repeat words to a song in your mind. Work puzzles. Watch TV or read.
Sensations
Squeeze a rubber ball very hard. Listen to very loud music. Hold ice in your hand or mouth. Go out in the rain or snow. Take a hot or cold shower.