Three DBT Skills that can help you accomplish your New Year’s Resolutions
New Year’s Resolutions can be an effective strategy to begin changes in life. Current research indicates that 80% of people stop pursuing their resolution(s) by February. Doctors often indicate that 60 to 80% of their patients fail to follow a treatment plan even after they agree to do so. Yet, there is hope! Here are three DBT skills that can help maintain our resolutions to change behavior.
1) Wise Mind
Change is a difficult process and requires that we focus our attention on the behavior we want to change. Focus is an important part of being mindful. DBT suggests the Wise Mind Skill to keep us mindful. It suggests that we identify emotions we feel, label them, and attempt to get at the ANTs (automatic negative thoughts) that are behind the emotions. It also suggests that we look for logic in our experience. And then, we are to consider our past experiences and how we could choose a new behavior wisely.
For example, when I quit smoking decades ago, I felt anxious when I was in an environment where I had previously smoked. The feeling of anxiety occurred because I was uncertain if I would be successful and the annoying ANT that continues to plague my life was “I am not good/strong enough.” Out of the wisdom of my past, I answered that with, “yes I could be strong enough and needed only to do it one moment at a time.” I knew that I could avoid smoking for a moment as I had successfully done that and I knew that from experience. Hence, I could choose a new behavior – I avoided smoking.
2) Opposite Action
I specifically like Opposite Action Skill as it helps when I lack discipline or motivation. I have learned that when I am not motivated to do something, I need discipline. But what happens when I also lack discipline? This is where I believe many people allow themselves to falter in keeping their resolutions; because we all fatigue over time. As I have grown older, I accept the idea that I no longer want to drive more than 6 hours a day. As I become fatigued and can no longer focus to the degree necessary to keep myself and other drivers safe. In the same way, we all get fatigued in the pursuit of our resolutions. When fatigue sets in, it is important to learn a new skill that will keep us on track.
Hence, DBT indicates that Opposite Action is a skill that gets us to do the opposite of what we "feel" we want to do. If I do not "feel like" getting more exercise, "opposite action" means I do just that; the opposite of what I "feel like" doing. I find this skill especially helpful when I'm neither motivated nor disciplined. I do the opposite of what I "feel like" doing at the time.
3) STOP
We practice our ANT from the time we were 7 years of age. They can be very powerful, and when combined with powerful emotions, we sometimes feel like we have no control to change our behavior. The STOP Skill can be useful when we want to focus on behavior change.
Specifically, the STOP Skill suggests that we stop ourselves in our tracks; freeze every muscle before we act. It suggests that we think about what is going on inside and outside of ourselves. We want to observe what we are feeling and thinking. We want to be mindful and we want to proceed cautiously. During behavior change, if we can stop long enough to realize that we are choosing a behavior because we have always done it that way, we can learn it is okay to change. When we learn to change our behavior once, it strengthens our resolve to pursue our resolution.
Several other DBT skills can be learned and applied to support our resolution-making. Please feel free to check out the rest of the DBT.tools website.