New Year’s Celebrations are Difficult for Those in Recovery
People who are in recovery find celebrations of all kinds difficult to navigate. Some of their friends and family know they are in recovery and are sensitive to their experience. Some do not know their story, yet others know their struggle with addiction and have little compassion. As a substance abuse counselor (at Comprehensive Counseling), many of those in recovery suffer alone in silence. What we know about addiction is that isolation is counter-indicated for those who struggle to maintain sobriety. It is my hope, that this article will provide guidance to those who want to support people in recovery.
What is addiction?
An addiction is a medical condition. The brain is the afflicted organ. Much like diabetes, once the diagnosis is made, it remains for a lifetime. When a person crosses the bridge into addiction, the neuropathway caused by the addiction remains in the brain. Therapy helps a client to develop a new neuropathway to support recovery and support groups (like AA) lend support to those in recovery. A strong recovery can only be maintained by abstaining from all mood-altering substances.
Treatment
Therapy helps the client develop new interests and identifies those things they should likely avoid. For example, “using” friends is something clients normally identify as something they need to avoid. The dilemma here is that research also shows that isolation is not a healthy alternative. It is difficult to avoid everyone who uses substances. Many families have conflicts around alcohol use during the holidays; it is rare to find a New Year’s Eve celebration void of alcohol.
Furthermore, those in recovery do not want to be the person to ask someone else to give up their fun. Clients who are in recovery report that their friends and family (including husbands/wives) do not want to give up their own use to support the person in recovery. Sometimes the best we can do is ask the spouse/partner to abstain from substance use when the person in recovery is present. That commitment, alone, can be supportive.
In addition, clients often indicate they need to avoid places where substances are served. In Wisconsin, it seems that most venues would need to be avoided, including many restaurants, pharmacies, and grocery stores. One client recently told me that grocery stores had the liquor department separate from groceries in the past, but now the alcohol is right at the front of the store. Some grocery outlets are even allowing customers to taste test some of the alcohol in the store. These types of changes are not helpful for people in recovery.
There is one DBT skill that many clients who are in recovery find helpful to avoid relapse. The STOP Skill suggests that clients (STOP) freeze every muscle when they become overwhelmed with an emotion (or an urge to use). Then they are to (THINK) all the way through to the consequences of behavior. Next, the skill suggests to (OBSERVE) what is going on inside and outside of themselves. Finally, the skill suggests to (PROCEED) with caution. This skill can be useful in any situation, but it is especially helpful to avoid relapse.
How do you support those in recovery?
- Let your friend/loved one know that you want to support them in their recovery
- Choose to remain sober when they are present
- Choose to host alcohol-free gatherings
- Offer to accompany them (as a sober friend) to events where alcohol may be served
- Celebrate their recovery by acknowledging their sobriety and the courage it takes to maintain
This can be a difficult time of the year for those in recovery. I hope you found this article helpful in supporting friends and loved ones who want to maintain their recovery. If someone you know is still struggling with addiction, help them find a treatment provider in their area and then stand with them as they navigate sobriety. For more information about DBT, check out the rest of the DBT.tools website.